Woke up and realized that I'm still single and haven't done it for yonks, let's say been years. I'm not barking or a high maintenance quine. Just a bint who fancies a food-loving and ace man when it comes to shagging. It is also dishy to find a man ...

A bloke's natural smell just gets me randy. I steal their shirts and wear them to sleep with nothing else on. Starkers, just a shirt with their manly smell and I'll be set for the night. Sweatshirts are also a favorable alternative.

Pros: - I give a good jobby. - I don't have a gag reflex. - My feet are soft. - I like snogging in cars. Cons: - I can't reach the top shelf without the help of a ladder. - Drinks excessively. - Will hog the sheets.

If I have the opportunity to change something in my body, I will choose to not change anything. And that's because I am already contented with my luscious body. I am also confident that my perky thrupney bits and firm bum are already fantastic enough...

To be controlled by a barbaric man while we're in the forest is going to be amazing; I can feel it. The question is when will that happen? Is there somebody here who's thinking the same thing? Why don't you let me know you exist?

Mimosas in the morning is the right way to start it. I know that cuppa is more ideal but who would turn down a bubbly and citrusy concoction of delight? It's like telling a dishy bloke to shove off when he offers a good shag. A lass like me will say ...